whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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