Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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