Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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