There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is wine microwaveable?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
