Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
