jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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