O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
