Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
