You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
