So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
