Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
