At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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