i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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