I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
