is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
