it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
