The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
