I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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