just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
