The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
third nipple confirmed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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