Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
