At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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