the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
