Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
