Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
