Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
