What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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