Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My liver is preforming stress tests.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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