I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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