I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
