HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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