I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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