Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
