New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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