3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
