I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
