Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
