I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
