i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
