i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
