Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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