Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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