I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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