there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
