Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
