im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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