In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
