if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
