called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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