So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
