I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize