You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I didn't shave. On purpose
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
