I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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