I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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