The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
