Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize