i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
