Plan B is the new Plan A
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
