you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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