Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
