i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
