You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly