Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE