I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.