just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Drake has all the answers
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.