Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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