1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
