I wish I could teleport
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Pants are for mortals
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
