Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize