Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I puked a lego.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize