2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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